Do you remember that crappy 80’s pop song? It popped into my head for some reason and now I can’t get rid of it!


Damn, don’t you hate that?

Well since it’s there I might as well put it to good use and do an update on how I went with the sciencey naturopath.

I found this naturopath that did this test called hemaview – literally ‘blood view’ – the practitioner takes a tiny sample of blood, and views it under a microscope to see what is going on. Apparently there are a range of things to look out for that indicate what’s going on with your health.

You know me, always a sucker for a bit of pseudo-science, so of course I was fascinated by this.

After a standard consultation going through my diet – I brought along a few days worth of standard diet and the few days of the chicken/broccoli/rice elimination diet – the verdict was ‘quite good’.


‘Quite good’??

Are you kidding me?

Next up was an iridology check – stress, fatigue…no surprises there.

Zinc test…perfect, not deficient in zinc.

Finally, the hemaview.

After-blood_New (1)

She got a little finger pricker gizmo and stabbed a finger to get a drop of blood, then squished it between some glass plates and put it under the microscope.

Straight away the commuter screen filled with hundreds of perfectly spherical blue blobs surrounded by shining thick white outlines floating lazily around the screen.

These were my blood cells and they were perfect!

Just like the reference picture on the chart.


So she moved the view a bit…

Not so yay….

we started to see some weird alien things popping up – there were a few darkened slightly fuzzy round blobs with what look like a tiny neon ‘glow stick’ poking out – this apparently was a cell that had been exposed to a virus and my immune system was attacking the virus.

Take that evil virus invader!

Next up we saw some cells that had jagged fuzzy edges…like they’d been plugged into an electrical outlet – this was cell oxidation!


Then we saw a couple of ‘huge’ neon white ‘alien’ blobs with darker blue ‘eyes’ in them. These were neutrophils, which are an indicator of immune system activity. Apparently I had quite a lot, which indicated that my immune system was under stress.

Well that kinda makes sense if I’ve got inflammation and allergic episodes happening, so it sort of confirmed that.

Then we saw some clumping and aggregation of the blood cells – liver stress, again no surprises there

And finally there were some darker ‘milky way’ type patterns.

Leaky gut!


Well, that all totally makes sense – leaky gut, liver stress and inflammation – they all go hand in hand with each other and cause/ are symptomatic of the issues I’ve been having – bloating, mal-absorption of food, lack of energy, weight fluctuations, sore/itchy/inflamed skin, allergy episodes….

Alright, now we’re getting somewhere…so how do we fix it?

Guess what?

A liver detox!

She gave me a list of things I had to do for a liver detox…and I had to laugh again, I’m already doing everything on the list!

For example – don’t eat sweets, lollies, high sugar foods

  • Cut out refined sugar
  • Cut out alcohol
  • Eat plenty of fresh fruit and vegetables daily
  • Cut out processed meats
  • Cut down on products made with refined grains

Some things I could actually do ‘worse’ and still fit the guidelines:

  • Cut out coffee and tea or reduce intake to maximum of 2 cups/day…I only have about 4 cups a week!
  • Cut down bread intake to 2 slices a day…I probably only have about 2 slices a month!
  • Cut down red meat to 3 times a week…although I eat a ton of meat, I only eat red meat about 1 or 2 times a fortnight!

So really the only change I had to make to my diet was drinking a glass of lukewarm lemon juice first thing in the morning and I’ve added an extra teaspoon of my green superfood powder

I other words, I’m just trying to be a bit more alkaline.

She did also give me the most vile concoction of turmeric, St. John’s wort, milk thistle and a few other things that I had to drink every morning to reduce inflammation.


It’s worked a treat!

3 weeks later my skin has totally cleared up, I have no bloating at all, I’ve leaned down beautifully, I don’t get the daily fluctuations in weight, and I’m holding nicely at 58kg despite increasing my calories by at least 1000/day!!

Yes, you did read that right.

4 weeks ago I was eating about 200 calories LESS than my comp diet, yet my weight was fluctuating up and down between 61-63kg!

Now, my appetite has gone mental, I’m eating Iike a horse and what’s really different is that I’m eating tons of carbs….well tons for me that is (about 100-120g/day), but I’m just burning through everything!

Some days I just eat…constantly.

This is what I expected and have been waiting for with the twice a day training.

I’m loving it!

So this week I went back to the naturopath for a follow up. We did the hemaview again and this time…perfection!

Big fat round blue blood cells surrounded with nice thick sharply defined glowing white membranes.

No clumping, no aggregation, fewer neutrophils, no oxidated cells, no Milky Way’s.

Text book blood.


No further visits or concoctions required.

So now I just need to maintain this, and alkalinity is the key (I think), so keep up the lemon juice and the extra green superfood powder. Raw green veg juices twice a week.

In fact I’m so pleased with where things are at, I’ve found a new crazy diet experiment to try!


(do I hear the sound of palms hitting foreheads….?)


I’ve found a diet, that in its original form is so bad, that I would never recommend to anyone in a million years, because it’s almost totally lacking in almost any sort of vegetable or fruit, it has virtually no fibre in it, it contains significant amounts of poor quality processed foods, and if followed for any length of time will lead to very significant vitamin and mineral deficiencies and very possibly high cholesterol. Indeed it actually specifies the exact amounts of every vitamin, mineral and even trace elements such as boron and chromium that will be required as a supplement and states very early on that fibre supplements will be required..and includes cholestol lowering supplements…

Just to give you an idea of how bad the diet is, check this out:


  • 5 Poached eggs
  • 120g Spam


  • 3 slices American cheese (approx 60g)
  • 60g Salami


  • 180g canned chicken
  • 60g cheese
  • 2 slices Melba toast (whatever that is!)


  • 30g Fresh Coconut


  • 240g Ground Beef
  • 1 slice bread w 1 tsp butter


  • 1 cup sugar free jelly w 1 tsp cool whip(? Cream?)


What the???



When has spam EVER been considered good bodybuilding food??

Canned chicken?? What’s wrong with the real thing?

Not a vegetable or bit of fruit in sight!

Here’s another day:


  • 3 pancakes no butter w lite syrup
  • 1 Banana


  • 6 crackers
  • 1 cup fruit juice


  • 1 1/2 cups steamed rice (assuming white here…)
  • 300g Chilli beans
  • 2 pieces buttered bread


  • 1 Bagel w jam no butter


  • 1 Turkey sandwich (2 slices bread, 30g turkey, 1 to lisp lite mayo, mustard)
  • 2 cups mashed sweet potato in lite syrup
  • 1 cup canned corn


  • 1 large slice Angel cake
  • 1 cup strawberries w 1 tblsp cool whip

59115 angel sparkle cake



Have I totally lost my marbles?

How on earth is this supposed to build muscle AND keep you lean?? You certainly would not describe this as ‘healthy’ in any way shape or form!!


With that being said, it’s not all bad – it’s mainly just the poor suggested food selection that I disagree with and am 100% sure I can stick to the underlying premise of the diet AND make it healthy.

The diet is actually based on diets that bodybuilders in the 60’s used to not only gain significant amounts of muscle, but to do it whilst maintaining sub 10% body fat year round.

Lean bulking folks.

The holy grail.

It also lends itself to being incredibly simple when it comes to cutting…cutting becomes simply a matter of cutting calories. No complicated formulae, timings of nutrients or macro calculations. Easy.

So what is this diet?

It’s imaginatively titled ‘ The Anabolic Diet’ and the premise behind it is actually based on very sound scientifically proven, well known diet techniques. It is essentially a form of cyclical ketogensis, and in this version, it is like the bodybuilders version of the 5/2 diet – during weekdays the diet is high fat/high protein/lo carb, at weekends, instead of dropping calories excessively low, it is the macros that are flipped to high carb/med fat/lo protein. By doing this it produces specific cyclical hormonal responses that trigger not only maximum muscle growth via glycogen super compensation, but maintains a fat burning metabolism and prevents down regulation of hormones during cutting.

It also has similarities to other diet modalities such as Slow Carbing (Tim Ferris, The 4 hour body), the Bulletproof diet and to an extent, carb backloading (tempted to revisit that one, now that my system is back up and running and I’m not in immediate post comp phase)

Whilst the bodybuilders of the 60’s may not have had the science to back up this process, what they were doing worked, and this actually takes it a step further by adding in specific supplements that are backed by science to enhance fat liberation and metabolism during the keto days, prevent fat esterification during the High carb loading days and amplify the insulin, testosterone, IGF-1, GH responses to the diet cycle.

So am I going to follow the plan exactly as laid out in the sample plans?

No, of course not – it’s a crap diet and a one way ticket to ‘unhealth’.

What I am going to do though, is follow the proposed macro splits that set up and then maintain cyclical ketogenesis. The suggested macro splits are:

F                     P.                     C

Weekdays:         55% – 60%     30% – 35%     5% – 8% (max 30g)

Weekends:         30% – 40%.     10% – 15%     45% – 60% (24 – 48 hr carb load)

There are also specific calorie targets for the initialisation phase which gets your body into the ketogenic state and then for the mass building phase to prevent excessive fat gain.

So the initialisation phase is simply: 18 x Body Weight

For the mass building phase, you set your ideal target competition weight then your upper limit for weight gain is 15% above your ideal target stage weight (or 10% body fat. Which ever is the lower). To work out calories to get to 15% above ideal stage weight, multiply ideal stage weight by 20-25.

Ok, to my numbers.

To start with for the next week, I’ll be aiming for:

18 x body weight: 18 x 127 = 2286

Then in the mass building phase:

Ideal stage weight: 54 – 54.5kg (118 – 119) x 15% = 135 – 136

20 – 25 x ideal stage weight: 135 x 20 = 2700 – 136 x 25 = 3400

 Now the diet actually contradicts itself a wee bit as far as the carb macro goes. It states that the split is 5% – 8%, but it must not go above 30g. Well at my maintenance calorie level, my allowable carb range is 28 – 45g and in my mass building phase, my allowable carb range is between 33.75 – 68g.

So which one is it?

also, does that 30g include or exclude fibre? In other words is it 30g of USEABLE carbs?

Now, because I’m going to attempt this in a much more healthy manner and include v.e.g.e.t.a.b.l.e.s, even using the most fibrous of veggies is still going to chew up my carb macro,  but I think if I’m clever I might still be able to get a few small pieces of baked sweet potato into the diet. I know that if I subtract the fibre content of those fibrous carbs then there’s a good chance that I will be in negative carb balance on some days…on those days I can add in the sweet potato.

Too easy! 🙂

The other issue is how I’m going to get 60% fat without resorting to low quality processed meats and cheese (no dairy remember). Hopefully I’ll be able to fill out the fat macro with avocados, nuts, flaxseed dressings on my salads, fatty fish (salmon) and fattier beef or lamb…maybe not lamb, I don’t particularly like it, but a nice pork chop with the rind on…mmm. And eggs, lots of eggs. I could always increase my fish oil supplement, but I’m already taking about 10g/day.

I think the hardest part of this is going to be the low protein days…I tend to get a bit anxious that I’m going to get atrophy and at just 10% that’s only about 70g protein/ day…not even 1g/ lb of body weight!

Carbs also never seem to fill me up, I’m always hungry on days when I eat higher carbs, so I’m really going to have to be careful I don’t blow all my calorie limits in an attempt to feel full. In fact the blurb does mention that it’s not unheard of for people to eat 10,000 calories on their high carb days…


But…the silver lining is…

I have found another brekky place in St Kilda that does gluten free pancakes!! Woohoo!

It may just become my new favourite brekky place..

Alright Einstein…let the experiment begin!









Love to hear your thoughts!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s